Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Thoughts on Diminishment of Self




today was the sort of day only deserving the most melancholy of songs - mazzy star at their darkest, leonard cohen warbling on about the chelsea hotel, nico, dylan.  and so i ramble.  

been trying, for the last twenty minutes, to cry.  i seem to have forgotten how to do that.  but - you know - tylenol commercials claim that crying is a great release.  and so, while propped in my bed, neck uncomfortably wedged between two poly-filled pillows, i try to think up the saddest of sad thoughts (which, with my family history, isn't too difficult to dream) while staring into candlelight that twinkles to the maudlin tunes of hope sandoval and david roback.  oooh.  radiohead. i wish i were special, too. 
and that's a bit of the predicament.  
that's the thick of it.  
back home, everyone thinks of me as that savvy fashion girl - the girl with the job that opens doors and makes things happen.  the girl who knows whether or not to wear tights or sheer hosiery.  the girl who refers to the New Look in dotty conversation.  the girl who tells her 88yr old grandmother that her blouse is so ysl circa 1976.  
the hell am i doing here? 
oh, this sad sad music.  it goes quite well with my day-old cider.  [i know: i cringe at the thought of it, too]
but you see - well, i haven't had a single non-work related conversation since an awkward evening perched on a nasa bed at the hotel rivington.  and, on that grand night, i remained an ungainly 3inches from the most satisfying-looking of europeans.  that was the night spent with he who wore no pants.  oh yes, i have my adventures.  but that was 2+ weeks ago.  
this past weekend was spent with blanket pulled to chin, netflix reeling from film to film, law & order's cast becoming all the more familiar.  shadows lurked between hallucination and reality.  nyquil's liquorish taste lingered.
my best friend called to announce her engagement and i groggily demanded the images for the company website.  right now.  conveniently enough, i have no recollection of said demands and like to think that i gave her jolly congratulations.  
today though - what a wowzas of a day.  12hrs spent before a computer screen, racing to spit out estimate after estimate, proposal after proposal.  and, between that and meetings and moments of rushed panic, was the announcement of Domino's end.  however will i manage My Deco File? oh golly geez.  that magazine was my beacon.  my apartment recently enjoyed revamping courtesy Domino's book of decorating.  and there were seconds where i paused to request fashion week tickets (herve leger! chadwick bell! phillip lim!).  coworkers spun by me until the room faded into gray.  finally, at 8:30, the lights flickered and all was silent.  my eyes burned.  i realized i hadn't stood up in hours.  still, my heart raced.  but in a lopsided way because it was filled with such sorrow.  
amidst all of that, he-with-no-pants emailed to say he'd be back in town, just for the night, before returning to his continent.  we made tentative plans for drinks.  but things waivered as his flight suffered delay after delay after delay.  we finally shrugged off our plans.  work still loomed before me - and then an hour commute home.  
and once i got home, there was the wailing cat and the frenetic pup.  my darlings, my joy.  but sometimes it's human contact that's so desperately needed.  conversation beyond small talk or chit-chat or brainstorming or reserving conference rooms or reviewing budgets.   last week, my dear friends suggested i leave work an hour early one night a week and do something for just me.  but, the truth is, leaving work an hour early means leaving at 6pm instead of 7.  and leaving at 6pm means that i really should do the laundry or clean the dishes or sweep or dust or do something constructive like take that first French lesson that i've been delaying or reserve some time to do something entirely indulgent like watch an hour of tv.  or read the new yorker.  i forget the smell of books.  new shoes, however, are pungent.  
and so i feel myself fade.  the body shrinks from its diminished appetite.  clothes that once were too small now hang from my frame.  but there's not enough time for lunch or even a healthy snack.  even the office vending machine has fallen victim to the current times and now only serves greasy generic potato chips for $1.  we once indulged in honey wheat pretzels and dried fruit.  now it's entenmenn's pound cake.  untouched for over a month now.  mmmm.  
creativity sapped dry.  the desire to hunt and search and feel and live and thrive slowly dissolves.  until there isn't much energy left for batty eyes or subway conversation.  been thinking about photographing people's shoes on the subway - but what would they think of that?  
and then, when i think of my first years here (oh the loft in soho for $1k a month!), i think of a fairytale land.  a twinkling, glimmering world of champagne fountains and truffle mountains.  suitors who insisted upon paying the bill.  my desk's underbelly still carries the faint memory of those gleeful years - at times, we'll chance upon a few boxes of hermes ties or a carton of forgotten killian fragrances.  
but today - - today the mind aches, the heart breaks... 
and we're never coming back. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Thoughts on One


So it happened today.  
Just in the middle of a meeting to discuss mannequins and looks and costs, etc. 
Chanced upon it on bberry...
Subject: "It's been a year..."
...wanted to let you know that we're going to have another baby this summer... 

initial thoughts: Oh My Fucking God.  
then: should people my age have this reaction?
then: How can we off-set additional costs with sales? 
then: was jason wu's dress really that unflattering? because I truly want to like it. 

Synapses collapsed and thoughts paused for a moment.  Was completely unable to multitask.  Even fumbled over my response to some question i can't even begin to recall. 

Also - at that moment - step-sister's labor induced.  She's two years my senior. 

That's when it kind of sinked in.  
And it wasn't so much the proliferation of babies or the clatter of friends having babies - although that had a good deal to do with it - it more was another married friend's reaction - it was exactly the reaction that someone my age is supposed to have: blissful happiness with a tinge of geez i wish i were there... 

I haven't a split-second desire to settle down and crop out a litter.  Honestly: who wants to introduce innocent children into the mess we've caused?  It may be a bit radical but shouldn't we employ this bit of solitary psychology? 
Sure - people may think me a bit selfish because I'm not the slightest bit emotionally prepared for any of the responsibilities linked to parenting - fuck, I wouldn't even know how to participate in a even-tempered, fully reciprocating relationship... so how would I even begin to approach that shining, ultimate goal?  But isn't choosing  not to procreate a gift to future days?Aren't I doing the world a favor?   

You really should nod your head in approval.  Just agree that it's an entirely selfless act that should be commended by the highest of the high. ... verging on sainthood!  Yes - I am a martyr for my generation.  

Whatevs.  I just don't want to get the stretch marks.  Or that awful bit spent in the hospital.  Vomit and diapers are pretty gross, too.  Ew.  

But what does that leave me to face?  A mailbox filled with catalogs and business journals addressed to Mr. Surname.  Two animals who devotedly follow my every waking step.  Now isn't that rewarding.  
But the One's becoming the problem.  And it's not that I don't enjoy personal freedom (because who doesn't love only being accountable to self?) - it's that the cold and the quiet make my unaccompanied journey seem all the more silent.  There isn't even a shadow to fall back upon.  It's just me.  And - at times - nothing sounds more enticing than grocery shopping with someone else.  Or folding lavender-smelling sheets with ease.  See?  It's all entirely indulgent of me.  My desire for another only sates that which is self-promoting.  
Sometimes I'm alone for so long that my voice breaks, mid-sentence.  The truth shuttles in quickly: I've forgotten how to speak.  So, in a vain attempt to seem normal, I'll just smile and awkwardly cough.  Can't let them know my inevitable fate of being snacked on by cat.  That would just make the neighbors cringe. 
And yes: I do think of that.  What would happen if I were to slip & fall in the shower?  Who would find me?  It's not like I have a day-to-day dog-walker...   I suddenly think of my previous next-door neighbor who festered for four days until the super checked on him.  Would that be me?  I gasp at the thought.  My vanity won't permit any mental image.  It's just too ghastly.   

So I suppose the fact is this: I cherish my independence.  I relish the afternoons spent without conversation and awkward comments followed by pregnant pauses.  But - solitude grows moldy; it's too quick to prevent, too large to confront in a fell swoop.  Too much to grasp in a sitting.  Instead, it's something to ponder - to take home with me and sit with.  Yes, I understand that sounds funny.  But isn't that the beauty of this conundrum?  
I'll need quiet in order to digest my solitude... 


Monday, January 12, 2009

Thoughts on the Goodbye Game


In fashion, make-believe is far, far easier than other industries.  We've built an entire commodity on the belief that something so temporal, so ever-changing can improve one's look and emotional standing.  We spin silk from the shadows and alleyways; we convince all that it is the absolute Must Have.  

Until now. 

And now.  Well, now this world crumbles  
I moved to New York to pursue the written word.  To prove to the world that my scrambled text actually could move someone or something.  To seek that almighty question mark, and ampersand with ellipses... But that was years ago.  Shortly after settling on these fair islands, I found myself messengering swollen bags to big designers.  Rubbing shoulders with them.  Soothing their ego.  Wigging out over the insignificant.  Attending shows and anticipating the lavish, the overdone and lovely.  
Fashion was the cultural zeitgeist.  
We celebrated the over-the-top and scrumptious.  Marie Antoinette was crowned our queen; Karl Lagerfeld, our king.  $800 camis were called big bargains.  The bubble expanded more and more, and more thinning its elasticity.  Fashion girls hobbled down Fifth Avenue, their red soled shoes attracting Bill Cunningham's lens.  Patrick McDonald arched his brow: hand on the hip now, pose.  Team Anna & Team Carine formed.  Achingly long hours wasted at castings; go-sees; brainstorms fittings; sprees through the City, searching for wrapping paper in the perfect shade of silver. And still, the ladies shopped - closets bloated with Balenciaga, Lanvin, Zac, CDG, JPG, Peter, Rodarte, and more.  We ached with anticipation.  
Doesn't it feel good to be so full and happy?  

But then something happened - it started with my sister-in-law.  Almost a year ago.  Her company streamlined its efforts; she no longer was needed.  
But we were ok.  We had the Europeans! And Russians with their dripping oil accounts and Germans with their fanny packs bursting with weak dollar bills.  The streets echoed with foreign voices and words.  Subway advertisements became multi-lingual.  Macintosh sapped their honey pots dry - at least temporarily.  
Madoff.  And your ponzi scheme.  And, truthfully, I don't even really know what a ponzi scheme is.  I can't even begin to explain how one can easily trick so many.  But I can relay how, exactly, these tricks have affected our little cozy nest.  

See - I just was beginning to enjoy this paillette-encrusted world.  I just was beginning to see its beauty and truth.  I was beginning to fit in; to see it up close, with my own big eyes. The resentment faded and I embraced this garish frivolity.  I anticipated and enjoyed it.  And then watched it fade as quickly as the fashion girls snapped into my life. 

Now WWD report disintegrating sales and announcements of Chapter 11.  Bryant Park Cancellations.  What will Fall trends be?  Who will we pick to worship for a few months?  What will CFDA focus upon?  

It's all silly stuff.  Yes - silly, transient stuff that does zero to improve the world.  But it's beauty.  Impossibly beautiful things that consider so much .  

And, yes, I'm a little drunk.  Vodka's a wonderful thing these days.  Numbs reality for a bit.  Because, as I told a friend, nothing's worse than going home alone, facing a cat & dog who want nothing more than a full bowl of water & food.  They don't understand my sadness in losing breathtaking fashion spreads to an assembly-line  of models standing before beige backgrounds.  Nor will they comprehend the sorrow in losing shows in lieu of showroom visits. The romance dwindles.  My heart sinks.  
Fashion soon, I fear, will be long out-of-fashion. 

And then what will we do? 

 

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Thoughts on Day Dreams

Today was one of those days - those days when, for just a fleeting second, the dreamy half-life appears and exposes what life could be.  As with all Day Dreams (as opposed to daydreams), streets were empty, quiet.  The air a bit glazed over with gray.  My footsteps echoed through the cobblestone path. 
Graffiti held its own wonders - begging me to scan its grainy canvas, charming me with its clever artistry and irony.  Demolition men raked scattered bits of scattering mirrored glass, at times they paused to scoop up shards within their amorphous, gloved hands.  Voices carried a romantic, lilting accent.  Fashion girls tiptoed down pathways, cigarettes crisping in their fingertips.  Three identical weimaraners stared at their walker.  
And I thought: this world could be mine. 
I shuffled along, feeling a bit like a spectator in this alien place (and to think: I once lived seconds from where I stood), seeing the streets with untainted, unjaded eyes.  Suddenly I was wary of looking the outsider's part, of seeming too obvious behind my thick spectacle eyes.  
Upon entering the doctor's office (that was the goal, you know), I studied opposite office windows, memorized their breezy open spaces.  The curling bamboo, twisting within their clear glass cases.  Hip, urban folk passed by, seemingly unaffected by the ever-popularly phrased economic climate.  
And, for just that hour, I was impressionable and new to New York again.  I wished for a polaroid camera with which to snapshot all that charmed and mystified me.  But instead I reached for my buzzing blackberry and knew that my fantasy spin was complete.  The garbage smelled; the dogwalker dangled a blue plastic bag from her hand; a taxi whizzed by, spraying me with street spit.  The R-train beckoned. 
But - just before descending - I chanced upon my favorite splash of graffiti.  And the dream persisted.